Orange
by ulquiorrii
Summary: A girl struggles to fight through her unfamiliar feelings towards Yamamoto. How could three, simple words possibly break through those walls she'd unknowingly built around her all those years?   YamamotoXOC.


My Own Worst Enemy

He was your prom date and your spring dance partner. He was the first person who knew about your parents and your well-hidden past. An outgoing guy with a laidback personality, he's just one of the few people who could make you smile despite your problems. He was there at every moment you needed him, and even at moments when you don't. He was your best friend; the brother you never had.

So, it's still a wonder to you why you just ignored him when he confessed his feelings towards you. Was that even a confession? You wonder. Was 'I like you' a confession of love, or was it just something else, anything but serious? You totally forgot what you were thinking when he said those words, or whether your stream of thoughts was still even working that time. All you remembered was his face. It was uncharacteristically serious and you haven't seen any trace of feigning. His eyes bore unto you, and you just rolled your eyeballs at him and said, 'Whatever', and paid more attention on the homework you two were discussing about.

He just laughed lightly and shattered the serious mask off his face. He reached across the table and pinched you softly on the cheeks. You remember shuddering slightly at his touch. 'Sooo. You're not mad, or anything?'

At that time, _maybe_ it hasn't occurred to you yet what he had just confessed to you. Were you that numb from your own family problems that you already forgot to respond on situations like that?

'N-No. Why would I be? So, anyway, about this one in item no. 3, I know our teacher mentioned this earlier already about… blah blah blah…', and that's when your memory cuts off. You forgot all about the rest of the conversation then.

You didn't understand yourself after that. You felt odd all of a sudden. You don't understand why, when every time he greets you with Tsuna and the rest, you feel some sort of tightening in your chest; a mild heart-attack. Sure he's almost often away and at some afternoons not with the whole gang because of baseball practice, but for some reason, you found yourself missing his warm smile, his toothy grin, and that constant teasing between the two of you. You missed those protective arms that would soothe your back and would envelop you in a hug when you're feeling down, even his playful attempts on making you smile.

You missed his voice; a deep, masculine tone with a boyish quality which would usually end up in a musical laugh. The posture, the perks, every little detail about him.

In other words, you missed his presence. You missed him entirely. You never understood it yourself, but there were times when you just found yourself looking out to the window, staring up into the sky, getting lost in your own stream of thoughts. You wander back to that time when he said those things to you, and how you're seeing him as he is now. You kept on thinking about how things would've ended up if you've given him another answer. You're thoughts would eventually be on how your answers might've affected him as well. Was he even serious when he confessed to you, or was it just one of his pranks to throw you off guard? You'd choose the latter over the former, though remembering that seriousness in his face would make you somehow think otherwise. In the end, you'd be frustrated about all the unanswered questions swirling around your head.

You don't understand yourself anymore, and you hated it.

There were moments when you thought that perhaps ignoring him would be best rather than be confused with your feelings. Yet, every time you attempt to do such, you feel more and more miserable. You hated every moment that reminds you of him, though you knew full well that some part of yourself feels that strange happiness and inexplicable pleasure whenever he's around. You tried your hardest to look at him straight in the eye; to act normal in front of him. Yet at every attempt, you never accomplish anything. You would always fail miserably.

There was that time when you were walking all alone outside the school building. It was past lunch, and you were sure not a lot of people would be outside since it's already a school hour. Hibari would definitely be on his usual patrol round the school; terrorizing the students and delinquents who'd try to break any rule. However, for some reason, you were relaxed walking down the almost empty corridor until finally you have felt the warm wind outside. The thought of Hibari punishing you for staying out at school hours didn't seem to bother you at all. You thought there weren't much people, anyway, and besides, you loved being alone at times.

So maybe that was the reason why you seemed to have lost your way and instead walked into the wall when you heard Takeshi's voice yell your name. As soon as you heard his voice, your head instantly turned to his direction and, without even bothering to look, bumped your face on the sharp edge of a wall. You instantly covered your bleeding lips and groaned inwardly. It really hurt. And you hated yourself even more.

You almost jumped when you saw him right behind you, a worried look evident on his face. He was out for baseball practice. Again. That explains why he was out without being threatened unto by the Head Prefect.

"Are you alright?" You shuddered at his touch when he brought his hand to your lower lip and examined your wound. He tilts your head a little as he leaned in closer, and you remember that warm breath of his that tickled your face. You wanted to just slap his hand away. You couldn't take that burning sensation on your chest any longer.

But all you managed was to look at his worried eyes; your lips slightly parted.

What followed next was a series of evasions on your part. You tried your hardest to avoid him at almost any instant. You burdened yourself with works late in the afternoon just to avoid walking home with him together with your friends. Baseball practices were all over, and he started having much time to be with _all_ of you. You started making excuses just to be away from him, and as much as possible, you never make any contact with Takeshi at all the following days. All you two shared were almost inaudible 'Hi's' and 'Hellos' and subtle glances which would often end with you averting your gaze away from his. And by the end of each day, you'd sigh in exhaustion as you slide your back down the wall; wondering how you'd survive yet another day like this. You were exhausted of all these, and you wondered how long you'd be able to keep your little game up.

It was one afternoon after school when you saw him all alone, his serene face slightly tainted by the sunset's orange hue, as he leans his back on your locker door. It was way past dismissal, and as usual, you've given them another one of your excuses just to be left alone. You almost felt the world spin around you when you saw him standing there; his distant eyes devoid of that usual cheerfulness. You clutched your book tight on your chest, as you steadied yourself and neared him.

For a moment, you were afraid he'd ignore you when you walked right up to him, but as soon as he saw you, you were greeted by his warm smile. His face was back to its usual happiness, and you smiled as you saw it, ignoring the fact that his smile didn't reach his ears, though.

He seemed to have grown an inch taller, you mused. He tilted his head slightly to the side, and he cracked up in a giggle as he put his hands on his pocket and tried to suppress his grin. You raised your eyebrows as you playfully punched his cheek, only to have your wrist caught by him, holding it slightly. Your eyes locked with his, and you saw that same sullenness on his face again. He never averted his eyes away, as his gaze bore unto you, until finally, you looked down; hand still dangling lamely on his hand.

With that, he dropped your hand and sighed awkwardly. He looked away from your eyes, and at that moment, you saw how he struggled with his feelings, though it was instantly replaced by his typical smile.

"Mind if I walk you home?" he said, rubbing the back of his head.

"Sure, I'd love to," you replied, feeling your cheeks burn at his proposal. With that, you were both gone, him walking with you at a strangely safe distance.

No words seemed to be coming to your mind every time you try to open your mouth. At every attempt, you would struggle to choose the right words, ending with you groaning inwardly at your oddity.

"I was worried you might be mad at me or something," he said, making you slightly jump in surprise. You looked at him in an instant, feeling somewhat thankful to have a reason to finally look at his face.

"Of course not, why would I be?" you said, your tone incredulous. You walked slowly, looking straight at him. "Well, should I be?"

He laughed lightly, his eyes lost somewhere in time, "I don't know… Well, figured you were. I was afraid you were avoiding me these days…"

You stopped at his words. You were hurting him all along. You felt despicable all of a sudden.

He stopped on his tracks and looked behind him at you. Oblivious of your thoughts, though seeing the evident sadness looming on your face, "Hey, what's the matter?"

Your thoughts then circled around those times when you almost admitted to yourself that there really _is _something more. That in all your moments with him, you were feeling something different; a fruit budding from all those years you've been with him. And in each instance, some part of your mind would whisper those same words over and over again. And despite all those, you'd always be vehement on denying your feelings.

It was at that moment, when one solitary tear trickled through your face. You instantly wiped that tear, to avoid more from spilling out. You saw him looking at you with a worried expression, his hand on your shoulder. You shook your head and smiled, telling him you're okay and that there's nothing he has to worry about. He smiled knowingly, and this time, it finally reached his ears.

The two of you walked on, that cheerfulness once again back on his face. You smiled, hiding that pink blush creeping on your face, as your hand brushed with his.


End file.
